SoonerBlue

I followed last night's election results with great interest...Democrats won a couple and lost a couple. Looks like voters are the most upset about jobs and the economy.

I already knew Republicans would win governorships in NJ and VA. Democrat Jim Corzine ran a lousy campaign based on Karl Rove's dirty tricks and deserved to lose NJ.

We had a sucky candidate who ran a sucky campaign in VA...enough for Republican Bob McDonnell to get by with that thesis he once wrote on keeping women subjugated. He also probably won because he didn't buy into Tea Party ideology and kept Sarah Palin at bay.

So Teabaggers can relax....New Jersey and Virginia are safe from a Dictatorship of the Proletariat.

Let's party like it was 1871! The NY-23 Democratic win against the Tea Party Conservative candidate sure helped me sleep a little better. Looks like the traditional wing of the Republican party said "hell, no" to the crazies.

Take that Teabaggers and Birthers! You drink too deeply from the cup of Palin, Beck and Limbaugh.

But don't get too giddy, lefties... this doesn't mean the Teabagger movement is smothered in its crib. They won't give up this easily. But if NY-23 was a trial run for Florida.... if the Republicans don't want to see Florida go the way of NY-23, somebody better rein 'em in.

In a way, I hope no one does...we Dems love to see them run wild.

It was a shame that left-wing zealot Republican Dede Scozzafava got chased off from NY-23 by Glenn Beck and the Teabaggers -- hey, nice name for a rightie rock band -- but the crazies didn't have the smarts to back a moderate who could win in a moderate district by just being moderate.

It was good that Dede threw her lot in with loyal comrade Democrat Bill Owens...and if he isn't up to the job of crushing those capitalist pigs, Chairman Obamovich can always exile him to Siberia...or North Dakota.

Is anybody amused because the Republican Party spent $900,000.00 on a Republican who dropped out and endorsed the Democrat? Or because the combined votes for Scozzafava and Hoffman would have given them a win? In a district that had been held by the GOP since 1871...when Ulysses S. Grant was President....

The GOP might be better off taking a Hoffman loss, rather than emboldening third parties in 2010. Remember Ralph Nader and Florida in 2000? Third parties are suicide...but the hard-left and hard-right wings often get impatient with the moderates and try it from time to time.

I know the Republican establishment is spineless and out of ideas, but for us to have a decent two-party system, someone needs to save the GOP. It dang sure ain’t gonna be me...but if someone wants to try, I'’ll loan you my garlic necklace, silver bullets, crucifix and wooden stakes....oh, and you might need some pitchforks and torches.

And don't worry, there's not all that many of them...they call themselves the base of the party, but they're just the fringe...the lunatic fringe.

I have a year's supply of popcorn, I'm going to love every minute of the Loony Teabagger Revolution. It's going to make the Goldwater thang look like a walk in the park.

That's what the usually very erudite Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) said when he heard that Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL) had called female lobbyist Linda Robinson (an advisor to Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke) "a K Street whore."

Some people cheered, others thought Grayson should issue an apology...which he did.

Republicans were rubbing their hands with glee, adding this little disrespectful-of-women tidbit to the opposition-research material they're collecting to use against him in 2010.

But the harshest rebukes came from Grayson’s own party...like when his fellow Democrat Weiner said: "Is this news to you that this guy’s one fry short of a Happy Meal?"

Then Weiner must've felt bad that he called a fellow Dem nuts, because he later apologized.

"Alan Grayson is a friend and an extraordinary member of Congress. No obviously playful comment from me should distract from the important role Rep. Grayson has played in focusing on the true and tragic costs of our broken health care system...He is a leader and a patriot."

A lot of people think Grayson's remark wasn't reckless at all, that it was the truth...that he should've added 'thief' and 'dirtbag' as well...that all of K Street should be declared a red light district.

But, then other people think Grayson's remark was over the top. Maybe because it's a gender thing. Maybe we can't call female political whores, "whores." Maybe nobody would've said anything if she'd been a man.

Maybe Grayson should've just asked what the hell a former ENRON lobbyist is doing giving complex financial advice to the Fed Chairman? But then, that wouldn't have drawn all this attention to the fact.

Some politicians probably think Grayson’s been having way too much fun anyway. A while back he suddenly became a media darling and hero of liberal Democrats when he gave a speech on the House floor suggesting that the Republican approach to health care is: "Don't get sick...but if you do get sick, die quickly."

That one quote focused a lot of attention on the fact the GOP has no plan, other than saying "NO" to anything and everything Obama and the rest of America wants.

All of a sudden this unknown, first term Congressman from Florida was all over TV...talking policy with Keith Olbermann, being interviewed by Wolf Blitzer, yakking it up with James Carville.

He was even quipping jokes on Bill Maher's ‘Real Time’: "The GOP’s idea of healthcare reform is letting you take a gun to the doctor’s office."

I couldn't help but like this guy. I mean anyone who calls Dick Cheney a vampire, or Rush Limbaugh a "has-been hypocrite loser" is alright with me.

Yet, Grayson’s 15 minutes of fame may be running out. On the one hand, it's good to have Democrats who are not afraid to stand up and speak their mind...but then it's risky if they start to get a little too much pleasure out of being a media star. We don't want him more interested in making himself famous than he is in doing good works.

And we want a little more - what's the word? - finesse in those we set up as the next big political star.

Anyway, Grayson is wrong...the lobbyist in question is not a whore, she's a john. The congresscritters who take her money and do her bidding are the whores.

New Rule: People from Southern California have to learn how to drive in the rain. You can go faster than five miles an hour, people. It's water, not K-Y jelly.

New Rule: If Republicans want to get back into power, they have to stop naming their lobbying groups after maxi-pads. [slide of logos for "FreedomWorks," "Keep America Safe!" and "Freedom First"]

New Rule, and it's our last of the season: Let's admit that despite all the media hype, there is one thing that George Bush did not destroy when he left office: comedy. If anything, Republicans out of power are even funnier than Republicans in power.

Now, I'm taking a hiatus for a few months...But, before I go, I'd like to go back to the beginning of the year and remind everyone that when Barack Obama, an actual college professor, replaced George Bush, an actual chimp--commentators announced that comedians would be out of a job.

Well, they were wrong. Everyone is out of a job.

So, yes, Bush was a sweet target. But, it turns out there were plenty of ridiculous Republicans behind him that we just couldn't see. His stupid "star doth shone too brightly."

To wit, the year began with Obama's State of the Union speech, rebutted by teenage governor Bobby Jindal. Who was the great hope of the party. But, when Americans saw him that fateful night, their thought wasn't "A new leader for a new time," it was "Good God, Mad magazine has outsourced Alfred E. Newman."

Now, after Jindal flamed out, the Republicans still needed a fresh new face. So they got Dick Cheney. Who, for a while, popped up on TV more often than the GEICO lizard to demand he be given proper credit for torture. Not that I'm comparing Cheney to the GEICO lizard. One's a cold-blooded reptile and the other is the GEICO lizard.

Now, after Cheney came that exciting new group of Obama critics known as "the birthers." Or as they used to be called, "the Klan."

And after them came Governor Mark Sanford. All over Argentina. Yes, this is truly a bizarre year for Republicans. Their sex scandals were with women.

Well, soon it was tax time, and the "teabaggers" filled the streets, purple with rage that their taxes under Obama had STAYED EXACTLY THE SAME OR GONE DOWN!!!

Yes, the "teabaggers," who started a movement and in the process sullied the name of a perfectly good gay sex act--that's right, when the year started, "teabagging" was a phrase that referred to dangling one's testicles in someone else's face. And they managed to turn it into something gross and ridiculous.

This is also the year that conservatives taught us that there's only one kind of racism left in America, and that's reverse racism. It was inspiring to see white men finally stand up to the oppressive, rigged system that has forced them to live in a hopeless cycle of wealth and opportunity.

And, speaking of opportunity, have you heard this broad? [slide of Michele Bachmann] The floor of a cave called. It wants its bat shit back.

And, speaking of bat shit, to reiterate my theme, if Obama hadn't been elected, would we have ever seen Glenn Beck cry on TV? On a park bench while masturbating, sure, but not on TV. And was there any better TV than watching this weepy, wonderful special-needs cousin of Rush Limbaugh? Angry one moment, then frightened, scolding, sobbing. We loved him because we've all known someone just like him. Usually an ex-girlfriend.

[From HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher]